Commitment to self

Hello,

It's been a while! I am having a rough week. I am sick and a bit down.

Talking to some people helped me point out how I need to commitment to myself.  To stand up for my beliefs and to speak up. To take care of the things that are important to me and to organize myself.

Of course, we all know this is easier said than done, but I will try.

Thinking about how I am going to commit to myself made me realize how I have forgotten who I am, what I want and what I enjoy. What am I to commit to?

I need to do something to get back to myself, to rescue my soul and the things that make me, me.

My head has not stopped talking. It goes from criticizing myself to boosting my self esteem.

Sometimes I think I am crazy.

The feeling of dissatisfaction doesn't go away. The lack of resources is taking a toll on my efforts to improve. I feel impotent, trapped in the circumstances.

The feeling that there is something better than this, that this is not the way it is supposed to be is unbearable.

I hope that it gets better. I hope that when the sun comes out next week, so do the solutions to many of the mundane problems that overwhelm me.

Until next time.

Arlette Cepeda 2004