June 2, 2020
What can I say? Life again brings me full circle, almost exactly to the date where I was ten years ago. Unknown future, national unrest, instability.
Deep moment of reflection, of questioning trajectory and purpose. Self doubt consuming my soul. Anger, sadness, a sense of betrayal, dissatisfaction, pain.
It's hard to be hopeful in this state of mind, it's extremely difficult to see beyond today when the future is so unclear, hostile and unkind.
The dehumanizing of black men in America, the racism, the health disparities on a spotlight due to the pandemic, the high unemployment levels.
Am I next? Am I going to die, lose my job, be a victim of abuse of power because of the way I look?
Escaping this reality is almost an impossibility.
What to do, where to go, what's really important now?
How do I reconcile with systems, status quo, my personal life?
How am I teaching my children to be better human beings?
Did I grow even an inch in a decade? It's all so similar, the emotions, the circumstances. Did I make this happen again? How can I break this cycle?
How can I achieve the things I expect from life?
